the inside of my brain
So I have ADHD. I don’t say that as a bad thing - I think that any ‘obstacle’ in life can be reframed as an advantage. That’s the mindset I try subscribe to.
Anyway.
I’ve found it hard to explain to people what it’s actually like in my ADHD brain. It’s hard because we all experience ADHD symptoms sometimes, regardless if we have ADHD or not; forgetfulness, inability to focus, and hyper-activeness (especially when we’re hungry, tired, or sleep deprived).
But the thing with having ADHD is that these symptoms are my default state. If left to my devices, I will be in this forgetful, unfocused, hyperactive state 24/7. I have to actively work on myself and have habits to help me get a better state.
So to help understand what it's like in my brain, I've explained it with an analogy.
The analogy
Imagine that my brain is a TV. A bright, big one with a loud sound system attached.
There are over 1000 channels available on this TV.
Sounds like a normal TV. The only caveat being: I don’t have any control over the remote control.
Someone else has control over the remote. I can’t decide when to change the channels, what the next channel will be, or how long I watch it for.
The TV’s audio and brightness are set to the max - it’s pretty damn loud and bright. Because of this, I find it hard to look away from the TV or hear anything going on around me.
The channels usually change pretty quickly. One moment I’m watching tennis, and another, I’m halfway through a movie. But in some cases, I stay on one channel for many many hours. Again, I don’t have control over this.
And that’s what it’s like in my brain.
What helps me
Exercise
Exercise helps me turn down the volume and brightness of the TV - it’s not hurting my ears and eyes as much - the experience of watching TV is not as intense or overwhelming. I’m experimenting with running every morning as soon as I wake up. Let’s see if that helps.
Meditation
It helps me stop the channels from changing so fast. I don’t have control over what’s being played next, but I find it easier to slow the channel changes.
If I’ve been meditating diligently for weeks, I’m sometimes able to turn the TV off completely, but never for longer than a few seconds at a time. Sooner or later, the TV will turn on to some random channel, and the worst part is, I won’t even notice it being turned on.